Sharing Your Personal “Why” Story to Build Trust & Communication with Deirdre Van Nest

Voiceover: [00:00:00] Welcome to the FAST Podcast, financial advisor strategy talks with Lara Galloway, SVP of Channel Management at White Glove. Lara provides advisors with an opportunity to hear from some of the best minds in the business. Follow along to learn quick tips to help you grow your business from gaining new leads to keeping current clients engaged and everything in between.

Now onto the show.  

Bill Tucker: Hello and welcome to The FAST Podcast with your host, Lara Galloway from White Glove. Lara, good to see you. I know I'm not Aric, but it's nice to be with you this week.  

Lara Galloway: Thank you, Bill. I so appreciate you being here with us today. And I have a great guest as always for us. This is not just a guest who's an industry speaker and a fabulous coach and just a wonderful entrepreneur.

She's also a friend of mine and I am so excited to welcome Deirdre Van Nest to the FAST Podcast. I'm going to tell you guys just a little bit about her and then Deirdre, we're going to jump in [00:01:00] and get started. So let me just read a little bit about your fantastic bio. So, the folks here at the podcast know who they are listening to today.

So, Deirdre Van Nest is a top-rated international keynoter, speaking coach, story strategist, and the founder of a company called Crazy Good Talks, a company devoted to helping financial professionals and entrepreneurs fast track their like and trust factor so they can get to the yes quicker.

I just love this intro, Deirdre, because I feel like you got the whole value prop in there really fast. So thank you. Well done, lady.  

Deirdre Van Nest: Well, it only took like 15 years, you know how long it takes to be simple, right? And what is that joke? If you wanted a shorter letter, you should have given me more time.

Lara Galloway: Exactly. I would have written you a shorter letter, if only I had more time, perfectly said. So, what I think is so amazing, Deirdre, is that you do have such an [00:02:00] ability to distill down these really complicated ideas and you have a really special strategy for this. And I want to kind of get into it.

I know every single time I hear you share this, I take something away and I go, oh my God, that is so easy to apply because you've made it so simple. I'm so excited because here on the FAST Podcast, as you know, we really like to give some of those little actionable pieces that our advisors can take away and start implementing immediately.

And I know that you do this for a living every day. You're out there helping people figure out how to really make that connection because the advice engagement business requires so much of that personal trust, storytelling, all that kind of stuff. But I mean, yes, every time I hear somebody say, oh, yes, storytelling, I go, oh, God, right?

Because that's not easy, right? Not at all. Storytelling is not something easy to master. So, before we get into this, I just want to ask you, why is this work so personal and important to you?  

Deirdre Van Nest: Yeah, [00:03:00] so Lara, obviously you mentioned we're friends and we've worked together for a while and so you know, but your listeners may not, that when I was 10 years old, my parents were in a really bad car accident my mom ended up dying my dad almost died, fortunately did not, but as you can imagine, you know, my dad was out of work for many months but was eventually able to go back and care for my sister and me, and this tragedy took and has taken a really big emotional toll on my family, but Lara, I never took a financial toll and that's something I'm super grateful for.

And I was thinking about this morning and knowing we were going to have this conversation and one thing that I've never said, not for any reason, I've just, it just hasn't come up is it didn't take a financial toll because my parents had planned. Now, this was 1980, so financial planning didn't really start until about 1969 as a profession, right?

Like, there was this watershed moment December 12th, 1969 when 13 people got together and said, hey, this could [00:04:00] be a profession. So, people in the 70s weren't really planning, per se. Okay. So, this is 1980 and we kind of dodged a bullet. Two things. My mom's best friend had gone into life insurance sales and just to do her a favor, they bought a small policy on my mom's life.

I’m so happy that that friend did that and actually approached her. And so here's a thought. I know many advisors are very shy about approaching friends and family and I get it. That can be awkward to switch from, hey, I'm your friend, family, right? And now I'm trying to like quote unquote, sell you something. But if you realize you're caring for them, you're doing from a spirit of service and care, not selling them something.

So in this case, I'm really grateful that Linda did this and we're still friends today. Our families you know, cared enough about my parents to approach her, and my dad's like, yeah, let's buy this policy. But the other thing the way we dodged a bullet is my dad was becoming a partner in a law firm at that time, Lara, and he was lucky that he had that type of business [00:05:00] or job and that he was still getting money, right?

While he was out and had something to come back to. I can only imagine what it would have been if he had been permanently disabled or, God forbid, he had died. What would have happened to my sister and me? I mean, it's horrifying quite honestly to think about and so this work is so important to me Because many Americans and if you're listening in other countries, I don't know, I know the US but I'm assuming this applies to other countries is that most people even if you have assets to protect and invest like we did right back then are one tragedy away from total financial devastation.

And so they need a you in their life. They need a relationship with you. They need to trust you. They need to have a deep relationship with you. And so the way that I show up in this business is behind the scenes. I wasn't called to be a financial professional. I'm called as a communicator and a teacher [00:06:00] of communication.  

And so I'm called to work behind the scenes helping you, the advisor or the wholesaler or the leader, become as emotionally engaging and compelling as possible so that you can build those relationships with all those people who need your help quickly. Because the better you are a communicator, the more likely they will engage in these important planning conversations and decisions today.

Rather than waiting for some day because some people like my mom will never have that someday. The day is today.  

Lara Galloway: Yeah. You hit on so many really important points there and the whole tragedy that kind of spurred you into figuring out how to do this and how you just related like you're not a financial professional, but you've benefited from a financial professional.

And you know that financial professionals often struggle with building that bridge of trust. Right. Like you said, you don't want to be a friend or family member [00:07:00] and then salesperson trying to push. Like we hear that and we all hate it. You know, all of a sudden your invitation to the family cottage over the summer goes missing because they're so tired of you pitching your damn business.

Right? And so, if you're pitching you, you're probably not doing it right is the first thing that I would say. And I would kind of love to hear your take on this because you take a different approach. And I think you just modeled it beautifully for us, which was kind of explaining that “why story” kind of explaining why this is important to you that you're talking about something that helped your family avoid even worse tragedy and fall out from a tragedy, right?

Deirdre Van Nest: Absolutely. Yeah. So, one of the things I love this idea of pitching, you're right. If you're pitching, then I don't want to say you're not doing it right, but there's a better more natural way. Let's just put it that way. Okay. And so I know this firsthand because when I started out working in this business,[00:08:00] I started my coaching practice in 2007, but then I started working with financial professionals around 2010, 2011.

And in the beginning, I didn't have any like proof points, if that makes sense. Like I was just some person who came from other industries and kind of fell into this industry. I hadn't even discovered my why story at that point, Lara, which is kind of funny because you would think, well, this would be super obvious, but it wasn't obvious.

And a lot of advisors will come to me as I'm helping them figure out their story and they're like, I don't have a story. I don't know why I do this. I'm like, trust me, it's there, but sometimes you're so close to it. Right? You can't see what it is or it's for some reason, it's just not super obvious.

So anyway, I wasn't sharing the story that I just shared with you until 2017 because I really wasn't aware of the connection until 2016. And Lara, I felt like I was pitching myself all the time in this industry. I always felt like I had to prove myself to advisors and leaders and wholesalers, like give them all these client examples and the credentials and this and that.

And yes, I'm really good at what I do. And yes, I can really help [00:09:00] you. And by golly, it was exhausting, Lara. Like it was just exhausting. And I never really felt like myself. I always felt like the best way I could say this is I felt like when I got on the stage a part of myself left the room like I left a part of myself outside the room and I finally realized like I really wasn't bringing my heart and myself and my humanity and at this point is when I started to search for that and I just stumbled on my own why story I started sharing that and that changed my business like almost overnight.

I shared it for the first time January 11th, 2017 to a group of advisors and Lara, the first time I shared it from the stage, I was terrified. So, if you're listening to this and you're thinking. Oh gosh, that sounds really scary to share my why or be a little bit vulnerable. I feel ya. I was the same way, but I did it and I'm going to encourage you to do it too.

And the second I got done sharing the story, these two advisors in the third row, left hand side of the audience raised their hand, Lara, these hands go like shooting up. [00:10:00] And I am terrified because I don't know what they're going to say. Right. So, I hesitantly call on them. I'm like, uh, yes. And the first advisor, his name is Joe.

He later became a client. So, I'll never forget this. He leaned forward and he says this. So, if you're listening right now, I want you to imagine one of your ideal clients says this to you. Okay. He leans forward and he goes, Deirdre, I want you to know. I will believe anything you say right now.  

Lara Galloway: What? Well, that's a great proof of concept Deirdre.

Deirdre Van Nest: Right. I mean, Lara, I was stunned. And I remember thinking I was happy, but I was kind of ticked off. And you know why I was ticked because I had spent the previous seven years trying to pitch. Back to your point, when you're pitching, you're proving yourself. [00:11:00]  

Trying to pitch and prove myself, and I thought, are you kidding me? It is literally this simple. I just have to share an appropriate why story and show people why I care about them, and now they'll believe anything I say? It was mind blowing to me. And so within two years, my business increased our gross revenue increased by 60%, Lara, and I changed nothing differently.

Other than I started sharing that story everywhere I went. And so, the point of me sharing this is I started testing that after about six months with my advisors to make sure it wasn't just me and my story. Like, I needed to know this wasn't a fluke. And they started seeing the same results. So, if you feel hesitant, and you feel salesy or swarmy or pitchy, I want to encourage you to go back to the basics and really tap into your humanity and your servant heart because most people go into this business because you want to make good money.  

You want to have flexibility. But the advisors that I work with have servant hearts. They're mission centered. [00:12:00] Tap into that. And lead with that. Talk to your family members and say, Hey listen, you can choose to work with me or not. That's not what this is about. But I love you.

I care about you. And let me tell you why I'm doing this. So, can we have a conversation about this? And then if they say no, you know what? I would probably leave it there. They know where to find you. And they know what you do. So, you don't have to keep pushing, pushing, pushing and lose the invitation to the cottage.

But I think these keep coming from that servant heart, that place. I care about you over time. They're watching you. They're going to work with you and you're going to feel better about this dynamic.  

Lara Galloway: Yeah. You know what I want to really hone in on here too is you're not only talking about how to get to the yes, which is clearly to close a conversion and getting the business, getting more business, whatever it is. You're not just talking about why you should use a personal brand.

A ‘why story’ to get to the yes. You actually articulated something. I think that's more powerful, which is how to use [00:13:00] your personal brand or ‘why story’ to actually structure how you do business. It's not just a close. It's not just a conversion, but you're like, maybe we'll do business together.

Maybe we won't. This is why I'm talking to you. You're talking about being you know, more heart centered, more focused on how do we take care of people. If you lead with that mindset in your business versus just focusing on how many conversions, of course, like guys we're all ultimately as entrepreneurs, we're always in sales.

So, we're always going to track KPIs and closes and convert. Absolutely. You're going to track your ROI. Absolutely. But what you just said. And you experienced it yourself, dropped in the middle of all of those KPIs, dropped in a different way of doing business that made it so simple, right? Because here we're talking about how do you build trust.

The [00:14:00] guy says to you, like while you're on freaking stage, he says, I'll believe anything you say after this. Yeah. Oh, did you have to demonstrate your expertise? Did you have to throw up charts? Did you have to prove that you've studied?  

Deirdre Van Nest: No, no, no. I mean it was already there. Now I just had to keep loving him and giving him great content.

Right. And I love what you said. We're in sales. You know, it popped into my mind for the first time. I know this is going to sound really goofy and corny, but I really believe it. I'm in the love business. I'm not in sales. I'm in love. And that's how I view my work here on earth. That is how I view my worth.

My work here on earth is that I am in the love business. And what that means is whomever I come across from, whether it's one on one, whether it's in a group, whether it's in a video, whatever it is, and I wasn't always like this, so we can talk about that if you want. My come from is I love you because I love humans.

Like, I don't have to know you to love you. I love humanity. I love humans. And so I [00:15:00] want to do right by you and I love you enough to share what I do and I love you enough for you to independently make that decision on whether it's the right choice for you or not. And I love myself enough to not get caught up and take it personally if this isn't right for you.

Lara Galloway: Absolutely. Absolutely. And there are certain people, and there are certain times, timing is a big piece of it, when people are going to be receptive to that, and when they're not. And, like you said, just being okay with that, loving yourself enough to say, this is okay, I'm going to share what I have, it will be accepted or not, that doesn't reflect on whether or not I'm a good person.

There are other people, maybe there's another time in place where we may connect.  

Deirdre Van Nest: Right. So, I think that's super impressive and just a great way to kind of frame that. And it took some time, like this didn't start out of the gate. Right. I want to acknowledge if you're new in this business or any business, it's hard because you got to eat, you got to pay bills, you got your family, you got your bills.  

So [00:16:00] I am not like coming from this, oh, you know, just love people and everything. So that's not where I'm coming from because Lara, you know, and if you know me, I'm also like a hard numbers, like KPI metric goals type of person, but I had to counteract that with developing this type of heart center and mind center over the years, otherwise I could drive myself insane.  

And I also had a hard time with this concept of sales myself. Like, I actually quit a business that I really liked, a health business, in 1999, no, I think it was 2000, Lara, because I couldn't sell my way out of a paper bag because I couldn't ask for the sale, I didn't want to sound salesy.

So, I've done a lot of mindset work on my own life and spiritual work around this fear, I call it OAS, Offer Aversion Syndrome. Right. So being afraid to make an offer to people, I've had to do a lot of work around this. So, I don't like, again, I don't want to just minimize this. One thing I can’t say though, to your point about timing, I had a client and this was so much fun.

So, when I first started the speaking side of my [00:17:00] business professionally. That was in 2010 and I got a call from Steve Alloy over at a Mutual of Omaha Advanced Markets team. And he was like, Hey I've been watching you through Eric Gibson who happens to be one of my financial advisors.

He was a colleague at the time. And he said, I love this fire your fear. I was talking all about fears and excuses and also about creating action plans for your business. I love this whole concept. We've got this school for new advisors. Could you do a workshop for the new advisors on their goal setting, getting past fears and excuses?

And I think it was like a two and a half hour workshop. Well, Lara, I had never done one before, but I'm like, of course I can do that, Steve. He knows I'm not outing myself. I told him later, like, you were my first one I ever did. I had no clue what I was doing, but I figured it out. Right.

And it went well. And in the audience was an advisor, I'm not going to name him cause I don't have permission, but he was brand new in the industry. So he and I were kind of [00:18:00] like both new, if you will. Right. And we worked together for about a year after that doing some goal setting and what not.

And then he just went his way and I went mine, but we stayed connected. He kind of followed me through LinkedIn and email. Well, he just came back last week. So, this is 13 years later to have me help him discover his why story and have my team created for him. So, my point is, is that timing, this is 13 years.

Like you never know what's going on with somebody. And we had a great experience together. He liked me, I liked him, but he just wasn't ready for the next step with me for 13 years.  

Lara Galloway: Yep, absolutely. And then here he was. So the timing is incredible. And you know, we at White Glove we get these stories all the time, Deirdre, too, where people attended a workshop, you know, six years ago, and then never contacted the advisor, never set up a meeting, nothing ever happened, whatever.

And then one day, And it's one day when a [00:19:00] life event happened or was about to happen, or there is anticipated something happened in their life where they needed something. And they called on that person that they'd had that good experience with. So we hear that story all the time. And that's why we tell people, you have to keep following up and stay in touch.

And if you're emailing someone and they're not unsubscribing, then they still want to hear from you. That's all there is to it. If he hadn't stayed in touch with you over LinkedIn or what, I mean, like you would have lost that and he might've gotten somebody else to help him out, but he stayed in touch with you because he'd had that good experience and I'm sure you had a good follow up system where you kept in touch with anybody you've ever connected with.

So tell me, I just want to kind of hone in on this though. What made him finally come to you? To finally ask for that why story. Why is this something, and I know this is such a central piece of your business, but why is this something that you think is so important for advisors to [00:20:00] have, but why is it so hard for them to get it?

Deirdre Van Nest: Yeah. So great question. I do believe and we've talked about this, that the marketplace has changed over the last several years. I think the Millennials and Gen Z influence has been very powerful in not just wanting a place where work is a paycheck and it's just business, they actually want to know who they're working with.

They want to know the person behind the brand. In fact, they will choose people based on that affinity and that personal connection. Okay. And they'll choose brands on that. So, I think they've made some really positive strides. I mean, I'm a Gen Xer, are you an Xer? I think you're an Xer.  

Lara Galloway: I am. I always have to look it up, but it turns out I am.

Deirdre Van Nest: Okay. Yeah. So, when you and I went through the business world, like growing up in the business world, there was a personal side of you and a business side of you and a firewall between the two and never the two shall meet. Never the two shall meet. [00:21:00] I mean, you just pretty much pretended you didn't have a life.

That's just the way it was. And I think the millennials in particular have busted that wall down and we're like, no, we're not. No, like we're not satisfied with this. Like we don't want to live like this. This is not a way to live, which I completely agree with. So that's one social media has made it easy to access people's personal side.

Right? So I mean, so those two things are crossing and then I really do believe Covid just accelerated this faster than we could imagine because it showed how much people desire and crave human connection above all. I mean, we are wired for human connection. That is one of our greatest needs as a human being is connection.

And so I think there's this culmination now where that wasn't what it was in the industry, Lara, maybe even just a few years ago. Right. It was very just focusing on credentials, just focusing sort of on the technical side, just focusing on the academic side. And now advisors, unfortunately, firms are really catching on because I started talking about storytelling back in 2010.

And I [00:22:00] had to make the case, like I had to sell and pitch this idea of storytelling. And I was beating this drum for about eight years of just, hey, this is a good topic to talk about. Now they're calling me asking for it. So, I'm seeing this difference and mindset shift. And so I think we're just in a totally new way of doing business.

Lara Galloway: Yeah. I've not heard anyone articulate it just like that, but I think that was a really great way to say it, that you're right. We grew up with that separation of church and state, personally.

I remember when I was working at [00:23:00] IBM and I was pregnant with my first child and it was like 7:30pm and my husband was calling me saying, are you coming home? And the answer quite frequently was, I mean, I work 60 hours a week all the time. And he's worried about me because I'm carrying our child.

Right. And he's like, this isn't cool. You can't keep working 12 and 14 hour days. Well, that moment when he called, I was still in a meeting with my other executives at IBM. And I was like, I'll have to call you back. He's like, what the hell? Right. Because I could not allow my personal life to touch my professional.

I thought that was so unprofessional. I mean, I won't even take his call. That's how bad it was. And back then, you practically had to hide that you were pregnant. You couldn't even make mention of it because otherwise they're going to think, Oh, yeah, it's not serious. Right? I mean, yeah. Oh, I hid that. For a very long time.

That's another thing. I'm thrilled we're not in this and that our children aren't growing up in that type of environment. [00:24:00] Right. They want the whole person to be present. And we talked about this a lot. Right. So again, to kind of connect the dots here. You as an advisor are in the relationship business.

You have great expertise. You know the market. You know big complex financial things and you can provide expertise and guidance. Table stakes. That is table stakes. It doesn't differentiate. Right? No. So, what does differentiate? Being relevant. Yes. Being relatable. Yes. And to tie that back together, you're saying that your client just started working with again after 13 years came back to you because he's now feeling that industry pressure and realizing, yeah, I do either have to, or I really want to be more relatable to my clients. And I am going to start orienting myself around that personal brand wise story.

Deirdre Van Nest: Yes. Is that like the 100%. I mean thank you for pulling that back together. Yes. No, at 100%. And I do [00:25:00] believe this is what I teach and tell my clients, your personal brand why story should be the foundation of your marketing plan. That should show up everywhere and anywhere you show up.

Because it is one of the only differentiators. There's not that many. And that is one. And can I share a story? Just to illustrate this. I love this story. It's so full circle. Okay. So just to give a little background. So, when I started, people are shocked about this, but I was terrified to speak like in public.

Lara, the fact that I do this for a living and then teach others is ridiculous to me considering where I was just even 15, 17 years ago, something I thought I'd never do, but I started, I hung my shingle in 2007 as a mindset coach, a fear coach, like getting past the fears and excuses. And people kept saying to me, you know, you really need to start speaking.

This is such a great message and you could bring in clients that way. And I really resisted, but I'd like to walk my [00:26:00] talk and if I'm working with Lara on her biggest fear, how do I not tackle mine? Right? Like it doesn't work. So, I got out there and I started speaking, but not until I found a coach and a process, because I wasn't just going to get up there.

I said, I am process oriented. I wasn't just going to get up there and hope for the best. Right. I wanted to do this well if I was going to do it. And that helped my fear. So, I found this gentleman, Craig Valentine, and he becomes my mentor, my coach. And ultimately in 2011, he's the one who certified me as one of his world class speaking coaches.

I learned my whole base of knowledge came from him. Craig is one of the best speakers in the world. Like he is phenomenal. Okay. So, we've become friends over the years and just about six months ago he calls me and he's like, Hey, I'm actually working with one of your clients. I'm like, what do you mean?

He's like, well, I realized I needed a tax preparer. He got rid of his for some reason. [00:27:00] So I started Googling tax preparer Ellicott City, Maryland, where he lives. Okay. So, like a whole bunch of websites come up and he starts looking at the websites and they all look the same, Lara. And many of them were wealth advisors, right?

And this was part of their business, right? As was the case in this situation, all these websites look the same. Then he pulls up this one website of a woman and guess what she has on her website. She has a video of her why story. So, she shares her why story and he says, yes, that's who I'm going to work with.

So, he sends her a message. They get on a zoom. They talk about the taxes. Oh, by the way, also do wealth management. He's like, great. I'm interested in that too. And he says, Hey, you know, the reason I chose you is for your why story. She's like, oh yeah, I have this great coach who taught me and helped me create the why story.

Oh, who's that? Deirdre Van Nest. He's like, I'm her mentor. Like it was the craziest full [00:28:00] circle moment, but I love this story because Craig has been around the block for decades as a speaker, a speaking coach and online marketer. Like he's not just someone who's going to be attracted to anybody that wise story drew him in.

And he chose her as his advisor. And this is someone who has a successful business, right? And so I know a lot of advisors think, Oh, if someone is successful, they're not online Googling me. They are. They actually are probably more than you realize. And so she got that client because she had the why story.

Lara Galloway: So that is phenomenal and you hit a question that I definitely want to drive home here before we run out of time Deirdre and that is the personal life story like obviously you're a speaker and you're out there speaking. So, you get to tell the story and you're a coach and so you can use your personal life story. Where do you think, and I'm hearing the website which I thought was really cool where else might an advisor leverage that personal [00:29:00] why story?

Deirdre Van Nest: Yeah, there's so many places. Great question. Okay. So, for sure, if you are doing any type of workshop or seminar group presentation, you absolutely want to share the why story in your one-on-one conversations.

And that's probably the quickest and simplest. Because that's what you're doing the most. You want to share the why story, you want to put it to video and you want that video to live on your website. You also might want it in written form on your website. You want to take your entire database of clients and after you've created your video, you want to send it to them and say, Hey, Lara, you know, you and I have worked together for 10 years and I know you know what I do and how I do it, but you know what you might not know is why I do it, why I care so much about helping you get the results that we're working on.

Here's a two-minute video of my story. Take a look. And by the way, that might get referrals, that's what's happening. Right? And by the way, if you have a friend who might want, you feel like would be connect, like connect to me on that human basis, would you mind just sending my video along?

So that's what's happening to my advisors. Not only are they getting clients going, [00:30:00] wow, I never knew that about you by the way, we have this thing to talk about there. It's easy to send it to their client. It's a way easier referral. I mean to their friends, way easier referral. And COIs are going, oh my gosh, we need to reestablish our relationship or this is great.

So, with COIs those are the main ways. And then social media, so many advisors waste the digital real estate on LinkedIn. It drives me insane. I'm on this one-woman mission. Your about section should not be a duplication of your experience and your technical side. The experience section is for the technical.

The about section should be your why story. That is where you differentiate yourself. I've had advisors throw it up on their Facebook page and I had one advisor put it on her Facebook page, pinned it there within one hour, had three requests for meetings.  

Lara Galloway: That's amazing. This guy is the limit wherever you are.

It should live is the answer. Oh my God. It's given me so many good ideas. I love, and again, [00:31:00] you've just said like a two minute recording or whatever. So, I'm feeling like people are going to have some questions and want some help from you. This is something I know you do all the time, but is this something that our listeners, if they want to find out more Deidre about how they could get your help or your creating that personal brand, why story, how would they do that?

Deirdre Van Nest: Yeah. I think that the best thing to do is go to our website, crazygoodtalks.com. And when you go on there, a pop up box is going to come up. And it's going to offer you our free why story template. And this is where I help you discover it and I walk you through it and ask you questions to help you create the story.

Because Lara, the story has to be compelling and it has to be concise. Right. It can't be any more than 450 words. And it goes back to, I would have written a shorter letter if only I had the time. So that's not a light lift, right? There is work there and the shorter it is, the more work it takes.

So you'll want to follow my template [00:32:00] and then if you're like, I'm not really a do it myself, or I really want your team to help me there's a button on there to connect with us. You can just click on the start a conversation button, there'll be a little form you fill out and then you can have a strategy session with my team member Lillian to see how we might be able to help you.

So I think starting with the free version, taking a look at it, and then absolutely you can send us an email or just click the button. And if you want to talk about how we can help you do it for you or with you, we're happy to talk about that.  

Lara Galloway: Okay, guys. So everybody listening should absolutely go do this right now, because as Deirdre has explained, this isn't a nice to have, this is a key differentiator in your business.

This is a success tool you need to add to your toolkit. If you're doing business going forward, because the old paradigm is done. The new paradigm says you're in even more of a relationship business than you ever had. And if you think that people are going to [00:33:00] relate to your returns, to your performance, to your numbers, they're not, that's good, but that is expected.

That is just an assumption. So you are trying to present why you're special and why they should do business with you, especially if you're sitting down with your leads that you've gotten from these workshops and you're having that first discovery session. That's what you're looking for is that personal connection guys, not the demonstration of your accolades and your certifications and dear God, not your acronyms, that is not what they're looking for.

Deirdre Van Nest: Right. Absolutely. I love that. And I firmly believe that I don't know when this is going to happen, that having your personal brand, why story is going to be like social media was, 10 years ago. I do believe at some point and Lara, and maybe in five or 10 years, we'll be talking and it'll be like, so who's helping you with your personal brand?

Like I do think it's going to be like websites and social media at some point. And so do it now. [00:34:00] Be on the savvy end of this thing and do it before all of that money transfers hands.  

Lara Galloway: When the baby boomer starts, you know, when the men in particular, can I make this point real quick?

So if you want to have a multi generational practice, you must actually engage in this now because as those men, those baby boomer men, and I hate saying this, they start passing away. You know, the wife is going to be in control of the money. Women are socialized to communicate in what we call rapport talk.

Men more so in report talks, you can get away with a little more with men, but in rapport talk, and that is this lovely connection conversation. She will leave you if there has been no discussion of her humanity or yours, like she will leave you and she'll go to an advisor who does that. And if you want her to stretch into her family relationships, down to the millennials and Gen Zers, they will not work with you.

If they don't feel like they know who you are as a person. So this is critical and do this before that money starts transferring hands in the next, you know, 5, 7, 10 years.[00:35:00]  

Deirdre Van Nest: I am hung up and just going to keep thinking about and go work on my own talk to just work this through my head. You just said report versus rapport talk. I am so loving that. That is so great. That's such a good way to distill it down. So again, I always learn from you every single time you speak. So good.

Lara Galloway: So, Deirdre, we are coming to the end of the FAST Podcast, and I have gathered a lot of great information and I'm sure our listeners have too, about how they can build these better relationships, how they can get to the yes faster, how they can get more yeses as well in their lives, even outside of business, right?

Like this is so good. So yeah, love this stuff. Now, my final question for you, and I always like to hear this is something about your definition of success. So you've clearly had a lot of it. Your clients, you've gotten I'm sure so much joy out of seeing your clients have a lot of success. But what do you do?

How do you define success for [00:36:00] yourself?  

Deirdre Van Nest: For me, I define success as doing the work that God created me for in the way in which he wants me to do it.  

Lara Galloway: Yeah. Very powerful. And I feel like you are pretty aligned with that because you define that and you're doing it.  

Deirdre Van Nest: Yes. And I try it like I like it's the way in which he wants me to do it.

So part of that is not taking on too much Lara. You know what I mean? Part of that is making sure that I'm not a crazy lunatic and I have margin in my life. So, so that's why I added that probably a year ago I just would have said doing the work God has created me for. And now I had some period of needing to step back from my business because I got very out of balance and now I'm jumping in again and just going in the way in which he wants me to do it.

And I think I really want to focus on that for the next 30 years.  

Lara Galloway: So smart. So successful. I love [00:37:00] it. And look at that smile. Awesome.  

Deirdre Van Nest: Well, I love being with you. Thank you so much for this conversation. You and I could chat all day.  

Lara Galloway: We could, and we will. So, on your boat, I'm coming to see you.

Deirdre Van Nest: That's good. Yes. Let's get that going.  

Lara Galloway: Yes. We'd love that. Thank you so much for everything you've shared. And guys, I really do want to just encourage you to feel this energy from Deirdre. She's helped so many advisors do exactly this approach and make sure that you are getting the relationships you deserve with your clients.

Make sure you are able to impact them in a way that is so valuable to them, but you're using that relationship piece to build that bridge so that you can access what they need, right?  

Deirdre Van Nest: Yes. I love how you just said that. That's actually beautiful. It is. And it's because sometimes people will say, Oh, is that manipulative?

Not at all. I love the way you said it. I mean, it's only manipulative if you're providing something that is not in their best interest. Right. You can only use this superpower for good. Like I make advisors swear, Hey, okay, I'm going to use this for good, but people can't learn from [00:38:00] you. People won't listen to you if they don't trust you and like you.

And so you're using this to develop that trust and that like, and that connection quickly so that you can actually give them what they needed. I mean, think of my parents with that life insurance policy. They bought it because they trusted my mom's friend and they liked her and we ended up meeting it.

So thank God that happened. I know I'm doing all these false closes, but I'm going to say one more thing here and sorry, I keep adding stuff because I just want to talk to you all day. So I'm like being the worst guest right now. I apologize.  

Lara Galloway: Yeah, I'm the worst host because I'm going to do it too.

Deirdre Van Nest: So advisors have been using the term fiduciary to try to build that bridge fiduciary is not a word. It is an F word guys. It is not a word that is building a bridge towards trust in the relationship with your possible clients and your existing clients, your why story. We'll build that relationship. And that is the key to [00:39:00] unlocking that work that you can do together to make that powerful impact.

So get rid of the fiduciary, pick up the personal brand wise story. And you're all good.  

Lara Galloway: That's it. All right. All right. All right. We're going to do this. So Deirdre, it has been an absolute pleasure having you here on the podcast and we will have you back soon.  

Deirdre Van Nest: Thanks so much. I would love it. Great to see you, my friend.

Bye.  

Bill Tucker: All right. That was fascinating, actually. And I've been sitting here feeling really, really guilty about the fact that my about section of my LinkedIn is a replication of my experience. And I'm sitting here wondering about my why story and I'm challenged now. Thank you so much.  

Deirdre Van Nest: You're welcome. Go get the template.

It's for you too. It's for everybody. Any professional.

Bill Tucker: Oh, that was great. Thank you. Love that. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening and tuning into the FAST Podcast with Lara Galloway. If you've not subscribed to the podcast yet, please click on the subscribe button below. That way, when Lara comes [00:40:00] out with a new podcast, it will show up directly on your listening advice.

We humbly ask that you share this podcast, rate it and leave a review as this actually helps others find the show again. Thanks for listening today for everyone at White Glove. This is Bill Tucker reminding you to live your best day every day. We'll see you next time.  

Voiceover: Thank you for listening to the FAST Podcast, Financial Advisor Strategy Talks with Lara Galloway, your go to source designed to help you grow your business.

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